I sincerely enjoyed reading your game idea. I can tell that there was much thought put into the concept judging from such an in-depth narrative. I believe that if this game were to be actually created the narrative might just be a factor in the engagement if done correctly. Now, if I were to look at this within a ludological perspective, my comments would probably be a complete contradiction from what I had just told you. Within your story there might just be too much emphasis on the story itself and not so much on the player interaction within the story. Ludologists widely support the assumption that video games are but an extension of narrative. Therefore, instead of giving detailed descriptions of what the kidnappers or the protagonists are using to defend themselves perhaps you might benefit by describing how the player will be able to attack or defend him/herself by using such weapons that you had discussed. I would suggest straying away from the stereotypical and cliché’ use of such weapons…Perhaps “Jason” is smarter than just using weapons like an AK47. Perhaps he is an explosive expert and can cleverly devise weapons from random objects like MacGuyver. This in turn will serve as a better “simulation” of the protagonist taking his personality from the narrative and structuring it within the gameplay.

Despite the fact that in video games the player will have to undergo a beginning and an end, between that time, it might be a lot more enticing for the player if you would structure the narrative so that it allows for more repetition with varying results in each session. It seems to me that this is a very straightforward narrative that might just be engaging and interesting to a player that is experiencing the gameplay for the first time. However, part of the goal of game designers and Ludologists is trying to find new ways to invite the player to continue playing over and over again. A good “run-around” for this might just be a matter of incorporating different degrees of outcome in the end. The popular video game “Grand Theft Auto 3” is a good example of incorporating a varying experience for each player per session. If we were to further scrutinize, we would see that this particular video game incorporates mini-games within the main narrative (that does not distort the original story but complements it) that creates yet another reason why they should not end their session. Whereas, if we left “Release of the Hostage” with such strict constraints (the outcome will always be freeing the hostages – getting a medal etc…) then the players might not find much reason to repeat the game experience with this particular title. We should try to give them enough choices within the game that they find themselves with an exponential amount of outcomes because of the choices they make.

I was thinking, as I thought about options for passes three and four: can you find audio clips to embed? It may not be for all of the words or characters, but maybe for a few. Also, what about finding video language lessons to embed as well, maybe on Youtube?

For pass four… We didn’t talk that much about our respective tech skills when we were working together, but could you maybe work up a simple grammar lesson and game to help immerse us in the story? Maybe just a few words, with audio pronunciations, and a quick activity of some sort at the end?

Suggestions:
1. Incorporate simple phrases that are related to each location or event. Gradually add vocabularies to previous learned phrases. For example, at the airport, besides “Namaste”, Diya can introduce her friends and family using “this is ____, that is ____, I am ____, he is ____, and she is ____.” Later, after Alistar learns the Open Class and Closed Class parts of Gujarati, he can introduce Diya by saying “this is my friend Diya.” The idea here is NOT to distract or overwhelm reader/learner with heavy grammatical rules.
2. Create links for grammar (text/animation), audio demonstration, and practical usage of the spoken phrases (video) for each location or event.
3. Make Diya as an online mentor, after click on her picture, a collection of intended leaned words will show up.

Keep up the good work and good luck on your Pass 4.

Good story with interesting, exotic location. I think you’re having the same trouble I am, that is, trying to incorporate educational facts into a story. When I read your story and get to the parts about grammar and such, I feel disconnected. Perhaps, there is a way to incorporate the grammar and pronunciation lessons into the story more. A more seamless blend would be better. Otherwise, I liked the story very much.

Richard Valdesuso